Welcome back, kiddies

Your devoted editors, Max'n'Aaron, are returning from a hectic summer populated with sun, fun, and myriad varieties of INTELLECTUAL EMENDATION. Now that we are back in school and back to our robotic, routing selves, you can expect to see posts being made on a more regular basis. We begin today with the first of a series of brief reviews/recommendations of a couple of the books I read this month.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE by Jane Austen

I've spent the past five years enduring high-pitched whining coming from the fair sex every time I refer to this novel (and its kin) as 'chick novels.' Which, even if you haven't read it, seems a fair moniker, seeing as it is a novel written by a chick, about a chick, for chicks, about chick issues, and read/enjoyed predominantly by chicks. Now it is currently in vogue among certain sects of bookish males to step outside the bounds of our favorite masculine literature and proudly proclaim, "Yeah, most guys really don't get P&P, but I can appreciate real beauty when I see it."

I am not one of those males. Then, and particularly now, I am more than ready to denounce P&P as, at its best, a cute little read, tepidly clever, but only in spots, which are more than compensated for by long, arduous blotches of poor character development and predictable plot twists.

To focus on the above accusations one at a time: The characters in P&P are indeed, remarkably shallow. People regularly forget while reading that the occasional original joke or turn of phrase does not lend true depth to a character the way that a psychological or geographic dimension can. Seinfeld, the Simpsons and That 70's Show have richer characters in their debut episode than in all of this novel. It is also worth pointing out that if you have by chance heard this RUMOR than Austen is great at the show-not-tell game when it comes to her characters, you may forget all that. Austen regularly states, quite explicitly what a character is like, and her attempts at show-don't-tell are, like her puns and ironies, awkwardly forced and over-obvious. (ex. High School Essay Prompt: what are the main themes of Pride and Prejudice? Response: Pride..... and Prejudice). Will someone please bring me a bandage? I am still bleeding from being hit over the head with Austen's prose style.

The second part of this accusation has to do with the reason I even read P&P at all, that is, the character Mr. Darcy. The word I had on him is that, Edward and Jacob aside, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy was supposed to represent the feminine ideal of a man. I was hoping for delicious subtleties and charms what I got was this: Darcy is (1) Very rich, (2) Very handsome, (3) Mysterious and arrogant but actually sensitive on the inside.

WHAT IS NEW FOLKS? WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.

Aaaaaanyway, as for plot, there is not much to be said. Events in P&P fall into two categories: I Saw It Coming and Unpredictable, But Totally Useless.

Now, here's where I will make a concession so I don't have to fight this one out in real life: I admit it is possible that the reason I find Austen's opus so bland and perfunctory is that it inspired so much of the media I've consumed already. I've read hundreds of novels with Elizabeth Bennett figures and Darcy-types and so the original seems redundant and boring where in fact it was literary genius. While this interpretation is highly sketchy for a number of reasons, it still falls to questions why then, if functionally, the novel is no longer an entertaining or beautiful one, why anyone should read it? P&P maybe fundamental to the history of literature, but it is not necessary to the modern literary world.

I give it 2/5 Uricons.

coming up:

BABBITT by Sinclair Lewis

PRAGMATISM by William James

FRANKENSTEIN by Mary Shelley

THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY by Oscar Wilde